Per questo Natale ho ricevuto un’amata rassicurazione dalla mia insegnante di piano: secondo lei conosco bene e so suonare a memoria i tre pezzi per l’esame di livello tre. Una Giga in Re minore di Carlos de Seixas per la sezione barocca e settecentesca, un pezzo delicato e sognante intitolato Shadows di Walter Carroll per la tradizione europea ottocentesca e Blues in the Attic di Nikki Isles per brani moderni e contemporanei di diversi generi. Blues in the Attic è il mio preferito ed è stato complicato all’inizio addestrare le mani e la mente al ritmo funky, che non avrei mai creduto mi regalasse soddisfazioni grandissime…ma ora lo suonare, dall’inizio alla fine, senza dimenticare una nota e sbagliare il tempo, come del resto anche gli altri due.
Allora perché faccio ancora e così spesso tanti errori? Una nota tenuta troppo o troppo poco, un arpeggio sporco quando suono arpeggi e scale più volte al giorno, una stonatura stupida che rovina tutto.
Continuando a sbagliare e (finalmente) riflettendoci sopra mentre suono e quando ho finito di suonare riconosco che gli errori più stupidi e facilmente evitabili (non quelli, per esempio, dovuti a effettive difficoltà tecniche) sono in diretta propoprzione alla capacità di distrarmi pensando ad altro mentre eseguo i pezzi, in particolare quando penso a come sono migliorata, come sono diventata brava, a che bella figura farei davanti a un esaminatore ora che li so suonare con sicurezza ed espressività. È come immaginarsi in scena o su uno schermo. E più la mente si perde in queste incursioni dell’ego, più il brano si smonta e si ribella cercando di dirmi: “Non sono io! Stai suonando te stessa, ma senza di me, non sei niente.”
Ogni volta che invece senza farmi prendere da smanie di successo personale, riesco a suonare pensando al pezzo o ancora meglio, senza pensare a nulla, la bellissima musica è portata allo scoperto dalle mie mani. Il blues, le ombre e la danza emergono nella loro magica perfezione e mi ringraziano per averle espresse con amore e rispetto.
Io sono il suonatore e la musica è una entità a sé stante, a me legata temporaneamente dalla capacità di suonare il mio pianoforte. La Giga esisteva già da prima, da sempre, e non solo prima di chi la sta suonando ma anche prima di colui che chiamiamo compositore. In natura, in matematica, in un diagramma di punti, righe, figure geometriche, quelle composizioni esistevano nello spazio di un pianoforte o di una tuba, un sassofono, un violino e ad infinitum. Il compositore di un brano è stato il primo a portarlo allo scoperto. È indispensabile dar ragione alla musica prima che a noi stessi, al nostro orgoglio, la nostra immagine pubblica, il nostro successo e capire che quanto più diamo importanza a questi ultimi complimentandoci della nostra importanza nel mondo, ci sovrapponiamo al vero protagonista, stupidamente, volgarmente, credendo di essere chissà chi, e assomigliamo un pochino all’imperatore senza abiti della fiaba.
Se invece rido di queste stupide pretese liberandomi del bisogno di attenzione e gratificandomi finalmente con la musica, in sala si diffonde un fantastico blues.
Is anyone feeling pressured by festive family commitments, or somewhat stressed by difficult people in these days as I am? My personal circumstances are easily guessed: as one who does not eat meat, you have to fit in with omnivores in all get togethers, adjust your courses or let someone do it for you with the likelihood of loads of cheese and dairy white sauce everywhere. You thank everyone and are kind, even if you wish you could spend your time doing (and cooking) what you really like. Sometimes you wish Christmas holidays are over soon, you also have to stop blogging even when you have a lot to say. Everyday lunch is negotiated with crucial planning unless you are going out, but it is raining and cold out there. I made this Mediterranean fusion toast in a loved hour of freedom. Grilled Violife, Tofurky, roast aubergines, rocketleaves and mango.
Thank you for dropping by during these hectic days!
“When you momentarily feel happiness during the day, jot down what you’re actually doing at the time. You may be surprised at what you discover– take note, and commit to prioritising more of these activities in the future.”
I read these words in an old magazine I grabbed from the near shelf while I was toasting bread for lunch and said to myself, “The idea for this blog was sudden and unpredictable and I knew from the beginning that it was going to work for me!” Thinking about how to re-interpret lunch in a creative way, putting it into practice and working on it with some commitment, choosing colours and vegetables by trying to vary as much as possible, taking a picture (I am cheered by this step!) editing the picture by giving it a little virtual light, sticking it on the laptop screen and being inspired by some volatile indeed constructive thinking while doing all of before, all this would be jotted down as one of the right things to do an done of the good moments of the day.
I am taking notes about what makes me really feel happy and, on the opposite side, about what takes my attention forcefully but soon reveals itself a wast of time. Sometimes valuable time is spent by our own choice in activities that do not nourish us either for basic needs (food, warmth, love) or the extras (ex. intellectual needs, knowledge). We may be wrongly judging what activities we should take part in or may just not be aware that something is not working for us, maybe even detrimental. But we cannot fake how we feel when we listen to ourselves, so let’s hang those pictures of good vibes in our wardrobe with a good caption, open all drawers and throw the paranoia out.
I make my four green toasts appear on the worktop after a 1,000 hours long (but worth the hardship) effort of buying bulky bags of vegs and getting them ready separately. I cut the broccoli florets, then soak, drain, steam and dress them with olive oil, salt and lemon juice. Then I prepare the greens by first removing all the ribs, lay the leaves on the worktop each at a time and cut them in stripes that are not too big, then soak them two times. It is the most boring phase, when I sometimes do meditate, but Green Day is accompanying the labour today, that makes meditation uneasy. When I braise the greens with olive oil, garlic and chilli I try to figure out my life without music and vegetables, it would be a basket case. In the meantime, pine nuts (cashew nuts are also good) are soaking in water until they’re soft, then I mix them in the food processor with silken tofu and my chosen herb, coriander this time, otherwise basil for an Italian flavour, add a spoon of natural yeast flakes. I had put the avocados in the fridge because the tiny label said “ready to eat”, but I reckon it is not ripe yet. I cut it anyway and pour lots of lemon juice to make it softer. I find the avocado stone fascinating and like to hold it in my hands like a de-stressing ball!
I cut four half moons of toasted “ciabatta” bread and lay them onthe worktop, all different but monochrome, ready to lift you up with a little more punky noise.
7 am and again on the road in my burgundy car, sleepy as a “never an early bird” can be! Stuck at the level crossing I raise the volume when the Rolling Stones start me up with some relief. I look to my right and a person I know says hello while she is walking on the pavement. She smiles and I return the greeting with another smile. Ah, it wasn’t the same last week! My smile was pretentious, as I was always criticising every human I saw from my metal hut on four wheels. This one has a white regrowth too visible, that one is wearing trousers I would only wear on a Spanish beach in August, another thinks too differently from me, I am sure by only looking at her face. The woman in her thirties walking on the pedestrian crossing must have immeasurable “me” time for wearing all that make up at dawn; the man jogging on the white stripes must be stupid for taking the risk of being put down by motorists that wouldn’t be me anyway, he also must be stiff in Pilates roll backs.
By looking at it now, the usual scene was a dispirited lady criticising all when tired and stressed during the rush hour. Changing from first to second gear, pushing the brake pedal only to stop again after a few seconds gave me freedom to be superficial and small in heart and intelligence. Against my daily ten minutes’ meditation, in those moments I did even forget I had ever meditated. I feel I have never considered myself to be better than any of the people above, indeed I was judging everyone appearing in front of my eyes.
But that was last week. One day, when the light went green and the radio was pumping it up with Elvis Costello as well as me with clutch and accelerator, the car broke down. It had to be put at rest for a full week at a near garage, from where it came out with a brand new gearset. That was the “Deus Ex Machina” appearing on stage to save my life at this delicate moment.
The bus glides on the preferential lane, the doors open at the stops indicated on the screen, letting in ladies and gentlemen who bounce in with no noise. It is Monday and I am back on the road. I am holding my laptop in my warm space and look at the lady sitting in front of me. I bet she is a nurse, and at the next stops more nurses, students, mums and older people come in. I recognise some of them as staff of the near big supermarket. I see them every week when doing my shopping there or ordering a drink in the coffee shop within. The nurse smiles and I smile back. My smile is sincere this time, I am surprised of this and feel no distance or disagreement with anyone on the bus. They have travelled on public transport every day for who knows how many years. I am relieved of traffic as the bus driver, not me, is in control of it now! Many new, unusual thoughts come to mind while I look around. I observe the people out on the street, aware of the fact that I am looking at them in a different way: the lady who didn’t go to the hairdresser, now she is considering the pros and cons of her next project while she is hurrying up and I didn’t even notice her hair, the man running on the pedestrian crossing might like to keep fit in the open air instead of a dull gym, the woman with heels and a cashmere coat has got off a plane from Switzerland and is walking to the physics laboratory nearby. The boys are running to school on their bikes as the rain is becoming heavier, the lady with funky shorts and t-shirt is still wearing brash clothes, brightening the grey air with colour. I feel we are all similar, as not only do we all have to get our things done, but we are also striving to survive, fulfil our ambitions and be happy.
I am persuaded now it is meaningful that a simple change of perspective can help change the mind when it is stuck in a fog of misconceptions that we build mainly because we are angry for something we find more or less difficult to control or change. I admit that moving from car to bus forced me to consider this: criticism may become dominant in our lives so fast without we even realise it. We cannot avoid judgement at all, but must remember that the best judgement comes without prejudices, and this is worth a resolution by us, because we can forget it at any time. Never mind our lifestyle, how virtuous we are, how many “Om” counts, there will be sparks of criticism ready to sabotage our clarity of judgement every time something goes wrong.
On the way back home I know the fridge and cupboards will become empty soon if I do not buy food a little at a time. I get off the bus near the local shop, where I buy the weekly pack of rocket, as I am crazy for it and it contains a massive amount of Vitamin C. For me, adding salt to rocket would undermine its pungent, peppery taste, so I will not use it on the salad. I see a packet of pickled beetroot on the nearest shelf and remember I have not eaten beets for ages, which is certainly wrong. As I do not quite like them so much, I drink beetroot juice often, and I put this into the basket too. It is expensive and heavy in my bag, so I cannot buy much more than bananas, the world’s favourites, milk for the kids and a package of cereals, not heavy but bulky. One corner of it makes a hole in the bag while I am walking home with hat, scarf, umbrella, backpack, gymbag and shopping bag. In the fridge, I find a pack of “Moroccan Falafels” still intact, but it will expire in a week or so, so I put half of them in an oven tray and freeze the remaining ones. I am in search of seeds now, there are so many in the cupboard it is only a matter of choosing which ones fit better today that my salad resembles to no world flavour in particular, as it consists of a mixture of all the flavours of the world. But when peeping at the bottom I see something red, bright as the skirt the lady in iridescent apparel was wearing this morning. It is the orangey-red, mildly and sweetly tasting Goji berries. They are antioxidants and may prevent deathly illnesses, but I always forget them. Then to make up for the months of neglect I scatter a large amount of berries upon the rocket, falafel and beetroot and leave the seeds to another day. Dates feel middle eastern like falafel and are the extra sweet touch bringing this salad a little out of balance, but after all that walking… I have now a brash, singular salad for this late November day. Something is missing. Who’s next? Olive oil is next, I am answering the Who as they sing “The Sweetest Thing”. With those cranberries in the bread as well, it is really over the top, but we are festive by now.
A November evening of last year the music ensemble of the community school performed a brilliant rendition of the song “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran, so well accomplished that it was the highlight of the Christmas Concert. In the other songs – “Seasons” by Vivaldi and“Behind your Eyes” in the Limp Bizkit version, which were far more my cup of tea than the smooth, clean note arrangement of the first one – there were many mistakes: one kid went out of tune, one other did not catch up with the time, another missed a bar, and the obvious reason was the pieces were much more complicated! Overall, it was a beautiful recital where the perfect moment was indeed “Perfect”. That was when I liked that song for the first time. This morning we heard it on the car radio while we were in the school run congestion. We looked at each other acknowledging the shared memory and the start of the day became more heartening.
“Do you remember when I played it so well?” she asked me. We agreed that its simplicity has a double side: it is pleasant and boring at the same time.
How am I so demanding of pop music while my attitude towards food is of a different kind, so that complicated recipes and instructions do not add significant value to taste? A friend of mine, who is an accomplished singer, piano and guitar player told me, “The music world is going simple, and we will be persuaded in some way that simple music is good.” I said I would be barricading against that threat and added, “Why are we so much bothered by the opposite trend in the kitchen world, where you have to conjure up dishes so complex and fantastic that will be rejected by a battery of inhumane judges (and also inhumanely rich) if pistachios are not from Bronte (a remote Sicilian town), basil does not come from Cinque Terre (that is in Liguria) and the horrendous meat is a little overcooked or the opposite, undercooked, which is still worse as in that case we would be playing vampires. Someone would find playing vampires fun, and I could have my part in laughing over stainy beetroot blood. Apart from this, why is it wrong to roast the aubergines for “Parmigiana” instead of deep frying them? Once they are in the baking tray and the oven is on for forty minutes you have time to sit at the piano and play that song! According to the experts, baked food cannot stand the test against fried food. This and other cooking nightmares I will not tolerate and while I am still complaining against the frying addicts I would make a quick sundried tomato pesto with a good handful of basil, two or three spoons of pine nuts or cashew nuts, natural yeast flakes and olive oil. Using the mixer slowly of course, not the mortar. The next day, I would take a little leftover pesto that was not used on pasta the evening before and spread it on a pita bread, cook a red/yellow/green pepper (with a garlic clove) in the pan and stuff it inside the pita together with some rocket and a few minced olives, cut the mango, pour a green juice in a cup and make my lunch.
The plate looked perfect to me. I would enjoy it while I am also opening the app for blues improvisation and admiring the beautiful geometrical figures of chords and scales. They are not made up by a chef, but exist in the amazing world of maths and we have to find them out in the straight line of the keyboard.
When tension builds up between us and someone we truly love, often because of each other’s row of expectations, the clear, rightful trio of mind, action and communication tries to escape from the next Pompeii’s lava force with the devising of something clever and neutral, not to say edible.
Here we set to make an avocado toast that is “our avocado toast” in the midst of thousands identical ones. No, this is not a philosophical clone or a replica, just one new element in the freedom of healthy food for busy days.
Peacefully me and my daughter mixed a little extra virgin olive oil with lemon juice and salt. We had separate bowls so as not to clash with each other’s hands and spoons and get nervous. Then we brushed the avocado slices she had already cut before. She said cutting slices so thin was relaxing. Lastly we placed them on top of medium thick slices of a spelt and sunflower bloomer.
It was a fat concentrate full of flavour and never mind the calories: our heart needs it!Added the sesame seeds for decoration (we had a full jar), still more fat and more heart.
This is not something I would eat more than once or twice a week and not because I wouldn’t like to be hearty every day! The soul of this blog is indeed to conceive as many combinations of fruit, vegetables, seeds and so on to put on toasts as can be imagined.
I heard someone comparing avocados with Moby Dick, because like Melville’s white whale they are now everywhere and have become the obsession of so many people owning a fridge.
The other day, as we were looking at magazines while sitting in the dentist’s waiting room, an article about whales on the last “Focus” issue grabbed my attention as it was in line with the mother-daughter theme, and with avocados as a consequence.
I copy it below in full, hoping someone might find it interesting reading it.
BELUGA WHALES AND NARWHALS GO THROUGH MENOPAUSE.
Menopause is rare in the animal kingdom. While many species may be less likely to reproduce as they near the end of their life, until now only three animals were known to have an “evolved strategy” where females have a significant post-reproductive lifespan: humans, killer whales and short-finned pilot whales. But now researchers at the University of Exeter and the University of York have added two more toothed whale species to that list: belugas and narwhals.
The team studied dead whales from 16 species and found dormant ovaries in older beluga and narwhals females, indicating that they had gone through the menopause. The findings suggest that these species are likely to have social structures that involve female beluga whales and narwhals living among a greater number of close relatives as they age.
“For menopause to make sense in evolutionary terms, a species needs both a reason to stop reproducing and a reason to live on afterwards,” says Dr Sam Ellis, of the University of Exeter. “In killer whales, the reason to stop [reproducing]comes because both male and female offspring stay with their mothers for life, so as a female ages her group contains more of her children and grandchildren. This increasing relatedness means that, if she keeps having young, they’re competing with their own direct descendants for resources such as food. The reason to continue living is that older females can be of great benefit to their offspring and grand-offspring.
For example, their knowledge of where to find food helps the group as a whole survive.”
Studies of ancestral human remains suggests they have similar social structures, which may explain why menopause has evolved in our own species, the researchers say. “Looking at other species like these toothed whales can help us establish how this unusual reproductive strategy has evolved,” says Prof Darren Croft, also of the University of Exeter.
I thank you for dropping by and wish you would have a look at my first post here:
As this blog is at its first words when winter is approaching and Christmas rehersals are on the way, the sound of music is sometimes dictating unconsciously how I am going to introduce this creation of mine named “Toasts and Thoughts”.
The voice is making an effort not to stray off tune when “chestnuts roast on an open fire” as the head wanders and hovers above all everyday worries to make our nutrition healthy, cruelty free and affordable with the least effort possible. I am not a kitchen lady. I would rather spend free time reading, writing, playing music and twisting myself into animal shapes than taking the agony of standing for hours by that white worktop to cram a medley of out-of-times or modern day killings in baking trays. The myriad vegs, fruits and cereals can make life bright. Still singing of flying turkeys and reindeers, the feeling of “toughts toasting on an open mind” was the original archetype for this project.
Here it starts with the first open toast with chickpeas, fresh ginger, turmeric, tomatoes and chilli on wholemeal seeded bread slices. I asked ginger and turmeric to warm up body and brain, as I learned to appreciate all seasons positively, but I am still very little resistant to cold. If the spices are kept in the freezer they stay fresh for months, let’s say the whole winter. I grated a lot of them for a long time, which secured as much time to think while grating (that otherwise can be boring). Toasting bread to top with imaginative combinations of veg, even leftovers sometimes, opens to new worlds of happy, blissful homemade lunches for days big with singing but still busy with all other chores’ mishmash.
If I wanted to abbreviate the making of this toast I’d have to use powder turmeric and ginger, then I would miss out on the immunising power of the spices and the taste would be completely different. Also, less time to think and sing that Christmas song.